I had the most peculiar dream.

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I had the most peculiar dream.

Post by Lestat on Thu Dec 11, 2014 9:44 pm




My sleep cycles are becoming shorter and shorter. I wonder if eventually they will just pass into non-existence.
No, I don't think so. Then I would be nothing more than a blood-thirsty wraith. It just wouldn't suit me.

I need my beauty sleep.

This sleep was not so beautiful:
I had the most peculiar dream, last night.

(First off, let me clarify things so that you will not be confused in future instances: when I say "yesterday" what I actually mean is "last-night," and when I say last-night, I actually mean "yesterday," because I am awake during the night and asleep during the day. Otherwise, my schedule is much like yours, as I've already said; 6 pm-6 am. It is pretty much the same amount of hours, only backwards to yours. I hope this does not prove to be too terribly confusing.)

Anyhow, you get the basic idea. So.

I had a dream last night when I returned from my exertions in the city. I was in Renaud's old theatre in Paris, surrounded by all my old friends on the stage. Luchina, Jeanette, Nicolas, and Renaud, himself. I was Lelio, again, in my white greasepaint and cheap costume, and I appeared mortal. At the time I even felt mortal. I was kissing them and hugging them and they returned my affection, but then, all on the sudden with no warning, this strange feeling came over me, and I had no control over it. Desire. Blood-lust. I do feel this, still, mind you, but the difference is I can control it. I have no problem suppressing it. But in the dream it hit me, suddenly like a gigantic wave of hot water, towering over me and then just plunging down, down, down upon my head, the heat of it penetrating my preternatural flesh and into my veins. At once I felt my fangs pierce my tongue and I tasted my blood in my mouth. I was now a vampire. I caught a glimpse of my fingernails in the dim candlelight, oh how they shimmered. I was still thinking as a mortal would, only there was this pain in me, this deep and horrible pain that could only be eliminated by making another feel pain. Though I tried to push this horribly scalding wave of desire back I could not, and before I knew what I was doing I had Nicolas in my arms, and like a leech my mouth was fused to his neck, sucking, sucking, sucking the life out of him till that sickly sweet moment when the heart ceases to beat and the poor mortal goes limp in my arms and I know that I've been responsible for his death. I hated it! But I could not control it, and so a lunged at Luchina, doing the same to her as I had done to Nicki, who now lay dead on the floor. When I had finished with her, I took Jeanette, Renaud, acrobats, actors, everyone in sight till I thought I would burst yet I could not stop. My limbs moved involuntarily, my mouth clamped down upon countless necks, wrists, breasts, anything within my vicinity that they could get a hold of, first. Blood tears were streaming down my face and crimson sweat was heavy upon my creased brow yet I could not stop! On and on this merciless and indiscriminate killing went till the theatre was dark, the candles having burnt themselves out and I was finally left alone. Alone with hundreds upon hundreds of corpses, bloody and already stinking. I ran for the door and tried to open it but I could not; it was bolted shut. I pounded and pounded but it seemed as though I were mortal again and without my vampiric strength, so no matter how I tried I could not move it. I tried the other doors, they were all the same. I was trapped in this horrid, dark place with my victims!

Finally I woke up, crying and sweating as I had been in the dream. It was terrible and I've not had so intense a dream for a very long time. Those are the kind of dreams that seem like something more. They seem far too real to be normal run-of-the-mill nightmares.

I don't really think that there is any meaning to all this, and if there is I'm simply too lazy and unmotivated to figure it out.

I have, however been thinking a lot about this depression I seem to be going through. I need to go back out into the world. Have some fun, interact with mortals even if they know what I am, even if they still recognize me from my brief moment in the spotlight. I just need to keep myself occupied, kill whoever the hell I want, whatever is handiest (which is usually evildoers, so I suppose my morality will be satisfied, more often than not.) I have two gorgeous cars, both stolen, but so what?
I'm tired of feeling the obligation to do the right thing, to do good. To _be_ good. But I'm not good, nor am I meant to be. I'm a vampire, I didn't ask for this life, I've seen God, seen the devil, seen Heaven and Hell and all things in-between, I'm still here, for the most part. I should just try to keep doing what is in my nature, not worry about what is right and what is good. That wouldn't be natural. I'll reign as the Brat Prince, once again. It starts tonight. Keep an eye on your local news program, England, the Vampire Lestat is back in action!
(...and hopefully not just for a limited time, only...)

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Re: I had the most peculiar dream.

Post by MissBijou on Fri Dec 12, 2014 7:57 am

I'm sorry you're going through a funk, Lestat. While I can relate, I imagine depression probably isn't easy for a vampire, either. Some days it feels like you are forcing yourself to enjoy anything.

Try and visit some of your friends. You may forget, for a brief moment, your troubles.

And, I am no dream analysis expert, but I get the impression that you may feel guilty, or at fault about something. The "bad guy" in your dreams always represents you, supposedly. (Something about yourself that you are not dealing with). And here, interestingly enough... in your dream, it actually WAS you. Is there something you are avoiding, or not wanting to acknowledge at the moment?

My nightmares are almost always with the "escaping" theme. I'm usually being chased, or planning an escape. But, I always get that deer-in-the-headlights can't run, hide quickly enough, or jump a fence problem. I'm pretty sure I know what it means for me.
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Re: I had the most peculiar dream.

Post by Lestat on Sun Dec 14, 2014 3:52 am

Thank you for your concern, Melanie.

I have nothing new to tell about the current situation, but its very early, and I have about nine hours ahead of me before another night passes.

Anything could happen.

I haven't even fully grasped the meaning of the word "immortality" in its truest sense, yet.

When I think I have an idea, another enters into my head to contradict the one before it.
Its just so confusing. I don't know what this really has to do with anything... I'm just babbling, I guess...


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